Post by Bacon Godderz on Jun 5, 2010 16:50:07 GMT -5
*Not Finalized Yet... just going to add to this as we go.*
My Fellow Houseguests,
I am here today to announce my intent to run to be your URTV House Class President.
URTV has a long standing history of honor and integrity and I feel that I can continue that tradition if elected as your house president.
While attending college I was a new student advisor, hall leader, head recreation leader. I started the first on campus choir and served in the student governor through my years as a senator, recreation chairperson, and eventually President which I feel shows I have the leadership, motivation, and experience to step in and make positive choices and changes for the house to benefit us all!
If elected to office, I am here to hear all your needs and provide for you
Angie, When elected you will be given a lifetime supply of rice.
April, when elected you will be provided with tons of dark chocolate every night!
Brian, when elected you will be given all the socks and markers you want to make lots of puppets and entertain us with your humor and wit!
Braden, I'd give you something too..... but you weren't on the show long enough for me to learn anything of value about you. So ummm.... how about a Klondike Bar?
Pickle Head, When elected I will give my full backing to an organization that is helping raise awareness about the proper treatment of banana's.
Chima, When elected I promise that wearing microphones will be completely optional.
Dan, When elected we will take time out on Sunday to have Sunday Mass for you.
Jeff, When elected Technotronics will be added to the dictionary and you will be given an honorary degree in English.
Jerry, Once a week you will get a conjugal visit from your wife as well as a pack of Viagara.
Jordan, I hope you aren't expecting anything.... You already won $500,000... how greedy can you be?
Keesha, you will get lots of booze... and I promise I won't take advantage of you while your drunk....... more then 4 times this summer
Kevin, When elected you will have full access to Pickle Head's banana... although your still on crack for thinking his banana is better then mine :-P
Laura, when elected you will receive a closet full of new bikini's, Infact as soon as i'm done here, I need you to meet me in the Diary Room so I can size you up for them.
Libra, You get a free t-shirt of your kids so that way everyone knows they are BOTH yours... cause ya know... the whole two color thing is kinda confusing
Lydia, You will have the world famous staff of Miami Ink grace you with a beautiful portrait of Mr. Pectacular on your body.
Memphis, When elected.... I will ensure that there be a city named after you!
Michele, When elected you will receive 2 years worth of all the cosmetic and enhancement surgery you desire, donated by our shows very own, Dr. Will Kirby.
Michelle, When elected I will appoint a set amount of time each day in my office for you to come have some private on on one time with me!
Natalie, You'll be hired on as my official body waxer.... because lets face it.... it's better then Blockbuster.
Ollie, much like Jordan you get nothing.... Isn't banging April 24/7 good enough?!
Renny, I will work hard to donate as much of the winnings from this game to Hurricane Katrina relief efforts. Unless I win.... then i'll just give you an autographed photo and you can put it on ebay to raise money instead.
Ronnie, you get cheese.... cause... I know mice like cheese... so i'm assuming rat's would also?!
Russell, You get a lifetime membership with the hair club for men!
Steven, When elected you will get to be the photographer for my next photo shoot.... in which clothing (or lack of) will be at your full discretion.... for both of us ;-)
So in closing, I appreciate your support in this election, and a vote for Bacon is a vote for all of you because I am the people choice, the peoples pick, and I hope to be the peoples president.
Let's work together to make this house and this game more then just spectacular.... let's make it PEC-Tacular!
My Fellow Houseguests,
I am here today to announce my intent to run to be your URTV House Class President.
URTV has a long standing history of honor and integrity and I feel that I can continue that tradition if elected as your house president.
While attending college I was a new student advisor, hall leader, head recreation leader. I started the first on campus choir and served in the student governor through my years as a senator, recreation chairperson, and eventually President which I feel shows I have the leadership, motivation, and experience to step in and make positive choices and changes for the house to benefit us all!
If elected to office, I am here to hear all your needs and provide for you
Angie, When elected you will be given a lifetime supply of rice.
April, when elected you will be provided with tons of dark chocolate every night!
Brian, when elected you will be given all the socks and markers you want to make lots of puppets and entertain us with your humor and wit!
Braden, I'd give you something too..... but you weren't on the show long enough for me to learn anything of value about you. So ummm.... how about a Klondike Bar?
Pickle Head, When elected I will give my full backing to an organization that is helping raise awareness about the proper treatment of banana's.
Chima, When elected I promise that wearing microphones will be completely optional.
Dan, When elected we will take time out on Sunday to have Sunday Mass for you.
Jeff, When elected Technotronics will be added to the dictionary and you will be given an honorary degree in English.
Jerry, Once a week you will get a conjugal visit from your wife as well as a pack of Viagara.
Jordan, I hope you aren't expecting anything.... You already won $500,000... how greedy can you be?
Keesha, you will get lots of booze... and I promise I won't take advantage of you while your drunk....... more then 4 times this summer
Kevin, When elected you will have full access to Pickle Head's banana... although your still on crack for thinking his banana is better then mine :-P
Laura, when elected you will receive a closet full of new bikini's, Infact as soon as i'm done here, I need you to meet me in the Diary Room so I can size you up for them.
Libra, You get a free t-shirt of your kids so that way everyone knows they are BOTH yours... cause ya know... the whole two color thing is kinda confusing
Lydia, You will have the world famous staff of Miami Ink grace you with a beautiful portrait of Mr. Pectacular on your body.
Memphis, When elected.... I will ensure that there be a city named after you!
Michele, When elected you will receive 2 years worth of all the cosmetic and enhancement surgery you desire, donated by our shows very own, Dr. Will Kirby.
Michelle, When elected I will appoint a set amount of time each day in my office for you to come have some private on on one time with me!
Natalie, You'll be hired on as my official body waxer.... because lets face it.... it's better then Blockbuster.
Ollie, much like Jordan you get nothing.... Isn't banging April 24/7 good enough?!
Renny, I will work hard to donate as much of the winnings from this game to Hurricane Katrina relief efforts. Unless I win.... then i'll just give you an autographed photo and you can put it on ebay to raise money instead.
Ronnie, you get cheese.... cause... I know mice like cheese... so i'm assuming rat's would also?!
Russell, You get a lifetime membership with the hair club for men!
Steven, When elected you will get to be the photographer for my next photo shoot.... in which clothing (or lack of) will be at your full discretion.... for both of us ;-)
So in closing, I appreciate your support in this election, and a vote for Bacon is a vote for all of you because I am the people choice, the peoples pick, and I hope to be the peoples president.
Let's work together to make this house and this game more then just spectacular.... let's make it PEC-Tacular!
