Week Seven - Impossible

[22522]

Week Seven - Impossible
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PBkhZmuiDIk&feature=related
[/youtube]

I remember years ago
Someone told me I should take
Caution when it comes to love
I did, I did

And you were strong and I was not
My illusion, my mistake
I was careless, I forgot
I did

And now when all is done
There is nothing to say
You have gone and so effortlessly
You have won
You can go ahead tell them

Tell them all I know now
Shout it from the roof tops
Write it on the sky line
All we had is gone now

Tell them I was happy
And my heart is broken
All my scars are open
Tell them what I hoped would be
Impossible, impossible
Impossible, impossible

Falling out of love is hard
Falling for betrayal is worst
Broken trust and broken hearts
I know, I know

Thinking all you need is there
Building faith on love and words
Empty promises will wear
I know, I know

And now when all is gone
There is nothing to say
And if you're done with embarrassing me
On your own you can go ahead tell them

Tell them all I know now
Shout it from the roof tops
Write it on the sky line
All we had is gone now

Tell them I was happy
And my heart is broken
All my scars are open
Tell them what I hoped would be
Impossible, impossible
Impossible, impossible
Impossible, impossible
Impossible, impossible!
Ooh impossible (yeah yeah)

I remember years ago
Someone told me I should take
Caution when it comes to love
I did

Tell them all I know now
Shout it from the roof tops
Write it on the sky line
All we had is gone now

Tell them I was happy
And my heart is broken
All my scars are open
Tell them what I hoped would be
Impossible, impossible
Impossible, impossible
Impossible, impossible
Impossible, impossible

I remember years ago
Someone told me I should take
Caution when it comes to love
I did..



Oh my goodness! So throughout Dan and I's showmance... things were getting hot and heavy and progressing very good. I was roping him in a little farther and a little farther every time until I told him my name was Jamie... gah! Because then he found Jamie's facebook through Patrick's facebook. ROFL ROFL ROFL! ;D Soo crazy. He found out I was lying about a lot of stuff, but the good thing is he still thinks I'm Jamie and he is still continuing the flirt with me which makes me nervous; but I'm going to go with it for the time being and play back with him.

I wasn't careful enough, and now he can shout it from the rooftops all that he knows about me and really fuck up my game... so he thinks. And that's just what I wanted him to think. When he approached me about lying, I acted panicked and scared and prompted him to tell people and ruin me because games are full of sociopathic people that thrive in others being hurt. And just as planned he didn't say anything (to my knowledge) and carried on our alliance with new and stricter rules in place.

And now that Dan is in my house... I have very mixed feelings on that. I have a few options, do I work with him or try to get him out. It's so difficult what to decide because I don't know what his thoughts are on me after he found out I'm lying.

I'm soo anxious for HoH results!! It'd be nice if I won! :-) I have so many plans spinning through my head right now. Lol

[22522]

So Michele won HoH. I was happy at first, until I spoke to her. She wants to nominate Bacon and Memphis, two people I like and trust a lot.

Michele is a cool girl to talk to and stuff... but in regards to the game I do not trust her at all and her ethics are low. I know I've done unethical things in this game, and probably most of the house guests have... but I have noticed a few things Michele has done and it's still pretty early in the game to be doing too much playing.

Michele has an alliance with Bacon, Steven, and I. However she is telling me she is going to nominate Bacon... I don't understand why she would back stab him when he had the chance to nominate her and was actually pressured by other people to do so and still stayed true to his word. Hmm...

Also, when Jeff won the P.O.V. the week Libra and Natalie were nominated he had promised Libra he would use the Veto on her and he told Michele that... only for Michele to respond to him saying well just lie and tell people you never promised her and keep the nominee's the same. Hmm... Michele Michele Michele. She is definitely hear to play the game, and someone to keep my eye on during this game.

For the time being, I'm as hopeful as I can be because Michele told me that I was safe. Though I worry that if Bacon or Memphis win the P.O.V. that I will be the replacement and that makes me feel really uneasy. If I don't get nominated, which I don't think I will... I'm going to bust my ass in the P.O.V. competition and try my absolute hardest to win. And of course if I win the Veto I will save Bacon and try to figure out a way to keep Steven off the block as well so I can save Memphis also... because if Steven, Bacon, and I are off the block then we can vote out the other person over Memphis and it will still be a successful week for me and the people who are closest to me.

During the conversation with Michele, she also told me that Angie and Jerry told her to nominate me. I'm not surprised at all that Jerry mentioned my name, but I was really caught off guard that Angie said something. I've been nothing but nice and genuine to Angie, and I sincerely like her unlike most of the people in this game. I don't know if I entirely believe Michele yet... but this game is so crazy and people are so fake so I really don't know what to believe anymore. I just have to be strong and win the Veto and save Bacon.

Michele and I's conversation is posted below. I'm posting it to come back to the fact that she told me I was safe, just in case... and the fact that she told me Angie and Jerry told me they wanted me nominated.


lydiarox35 2:52 pm
(2:52:32 PM): *Hugs* Michele... I can imagine. It must be pretty hard on you. :-\
(2:52:47 PM): Well whatever decision you make, I'm here to support you. So just know that.
Michelle N 2:52 pm
(2:52:59 PM): A lot of people are gunning for you
(2:53:06 PM): just as an FYI
lydiarox35 2:54 pm
(2:54:42 PM): Eww... I'm not really surprised though. I refuse to be fake to the people that I don't trust.
(2:54:51 PM): You wont nominate me, will you?
Michelle N 2:54 pm
(2:54:57 PM): You're safe
(2:55:03 PM): just wanted you to know
(2:55:10 PM): a lot of people are throwing your name up there
lydiarox35 2:55 pm
(2:55:24 PM): Whew, thank you Michele. And thanks for the heads up. I bet I know three of them... Jeff, Jerry, and Dan?
Michelle N 2:55 pm
(2:55:46 PM): Actually, Jerry and Angie
lydiarox35 2:56 pm
(2:56:29 PM): Wow. I wonder why Angie threw my name into it, she is one of the people I'm actually nice to. Well thanks for the heads up; I wont say a word.
Michelle N 2:57 pm
(2:57:02 PM): not a problem
(2:57:11 PM): I'm thinking Memphis and Bacon
lydiarox35 2:58 pm
(2:58:49 PM): Yea, I figured you would put Memphis up. A little surprised about Bacon, but I'm fine with your decision Michele.
Michelle N 2:59 pm
(2:59:18 PM): From what I hear...he's got deals with EVERYONE in the house
(2:59:42 PM): I've heard he has a deal with you
(2:59:47 PM): a final three with jeff and jerry
(2:59:56 PM): apparently a deal with me and steven
lydiarox35 3:00 pm
(3:00:23 PM): Yea, I thought you, Steven, Bacon and I were working together to get to the merged house. That's why I was surprised.
(3:00:48 PM): I heard that he has a final three with Jeff and Jerry too, but then he talks shit about them to me. So I don't really know.
Michelle N 3:00 pm
(3:00:50 PM): Apparently, he's made similar agreements with everyone else
lydiarox35 3:01 pm
(3:01:06 PM): Uh oh... we have a Matt on our hands. Lol
Michelle N 3:01 pm
(3:01:24 PM): lol
lydiarox35 3:01 pm
(3:01:29 PM): Did you see the feeds last night?
Michelle N 3:01 pm
(3:01:45 PM): no
(3:01:47 PM): I don't have them
lydiarox35 3:01 pm
(3:01:59 PM): Oh, I wont say anything more then about Matt.
Michelle N 3:02 pm
(3:02:21 PM): I know he's up
(3:02:25 PM): and Rachel wants him out
(3:02:27 PM): I love spoilers
(3:02:28 PM): haha
(3:02:29 PM): "Jeff Schroeder" (6:01:57 PM): he just thinks that....way back when i won veto and kevin had a plan to backdoor him.....he msg'd me saying that he hoped i wouldnt use it so he could continue to work with me and jerry
lydiarox35 3:03 pm
(3:03:09 PM): Hmm... But Jeff did use the Veto. Lol
lydiarox35 3:03 pm
(3:03:54 PM): This game is crazy. It's hard for me to believe people, because Big Brother is so cut throat and crazy.
Michelle N 3:04 pm
(3:04:03 PM): yea
(3:04:21 PM): I think I've made up my mind
lydiarox35 3:04 pm
(3:04:59 PM): Mmk. When are you posting nom's?
Michelle N 3:05 pm
(3:05:14 PM): Whenever they tell me too
(3:05:18 PM): I think I've made up my mind
lydiarox35 3:05 pm
(3:05:32 PM): Goodluck with Memphis and Bacon not being mad at you.
Michelle N 3:05 pm
(3:05:46 PM): That may not even be what happens :X h
lydiarox35 3:06 pm
(3:06:24 PM): Yea, we will see. :-\ I wish you the best of luck though.
(3:06:54 PM): So what are you doing now that your not working with all your free time?
Michelle N 3:07 pm
(3:07:50 PM): pretty much laying around
lydiarox35 3:08 pm
(3:08:34 PM): Lol, catching up on sleep I imagine? Ha ha
Michelle N 3:08 pm
(3:08:56 PM): most certainly
lydiarox35 3:09 pm
(3:09:41 PM): I'm so jealous. Like not of now... but when you finish; that's going to be so amazing!
Michelle N 3:09 pm
(3:09:48 PM): haha
lydiarox35 3:09 pm
(3:09:49 PM): Money money money money! <3
Michelle N (OwenWhttkr) is offline 3:19 pm

IMs are delivered when the buddy signs in. Send Michelle N (OwenWhttkr) a text message

[22522]

So Michele is trying to play every side of our house, oh my goodness. I'm starting to dislike her more and more and more. I don't like hardcore villains, and she is... her ethics shock me because their non-existent.

She is telling both Bacon and Memphis that their up as pawns, and she really wants to backdoor Dan. She is telling Dan he is safe, she is telling Jerry I wanted him up... and she is telling me that Jerry wanted me up. Gosh! She is trying to create enemies and make everyone mad at each other so she gets out of power and everyone is targeting each other and not her.

If I get nominated, I'm going to go crazy and freak out on Michele and make it very clear that I hate this crazy bitch. I'm going to put a fake smile on until the Veto Ceremony is posted, but the entire week I'm going to be working against Michele and hopefully her disgusting little plans become a huge failure and end up blowing up in her ugly ass face. Ew... I hate her.

I'm really hoping I can win the Veto Competition, ensure my safety and save Bacon. This week is going to get crazy quick, the flirting with Dan is at an all time high and has now turned into sexting, and now my main ally is in danger and I don't feel safe myself if one of them wins the Veto. This will be a complicated week, but I'm ready to take it on and try my best.

[Fruit Cocktail]

You're fucking sick.

[Taylor]

+___+

[22522]

Now I'm starting to get scared. Michele hasn't posted her nominations yet; and it's making me nervous.

I knew there was a possibility when Michele won and all, but then I felt a little more at ease when she told me that I was safe... and then tonight. Gah!

So I was talking to Jerry, and I decided to just throw out some of the stuff I've been hearing and ask if he had been telling people that he wanted me nominated; and he said yes he did tell people that he wanted me nominated... but only as a pawn; so he says. He also told me Michele told him Memphis and I were being nominated, so so scary!! I really hope Jerry is lying, or Michele lied to Jerry because I do not want to get nominated. Oh my goodness, I would probably be evicted if I was nominated... everyone hates me except like Bacon.

So nervous. And I'm hoping for the best!! I just want the nomination's to be posted!! The anxiety is killing me.

In the meantime, I sent a PM to Michele and I just told her the truth... and told her I heard from Jerry that she was nominating me and assured her I was with her before she had power and I will have her back after her power is done and whatnot. Hopefully Michele will not nominate me, and still keep her word with me... that I was safe.

Jerry and I's conversation is posted below. Just in case I need to use it later on... hopefully no drama happens, and I'm just safe!!

lydiarox35 4:57 pm
So... question?
"Jerry" 4:59 pm
answer...
lydiarox35 4:59 pm
Do you dislike me?
"Jerry" 4:59 pm
No. why?
lydiarox35 4:59 pm
Becuase I've heard that you like want me nominated and stuff.
And I really just want to ask you, and let it be out there rather than rumors that could potential turn us into enemies for the benefit of others.
"Jerry" 5:00 pm
but you would never be evicted.
lydiarox35 5:00 pm
I don't know about that. It all depends who I'm against.
"Jerry" 5:01 pm
Nope... u would be fine.
and its been more of an easy way to get to the ultimate goal
which doesnt include u being evicted.
lydiarox35 5:01 pm
But you did suggest I be nominated?
Like I'm not mad, I just want to see if people are starting rumors or not.
"Jerry" 5:02 pm
yes
lydiarox35 5:02 pm
Well all I can do is trust you and hope I wouldn't be the target. Ot makes me scared. Lol. But thanks for being honest, I just wanted to make sure so like I wasn't like OMG I hate Jerry... he said that!!
"Jerry" 5:03 pm
yeah, i said that... but it was due to the bigger plan
and it was easier to convince ppl to put you up, as a pawn.
like this week, michele said...'Memphis and Lydia, as the pawn"
lydiarox35 5:04 pm
Oh wow. Michele told me she was putting up Memphis and Bacon, when did you last talk to her?
"Jerry" 5:05 pm
she threw his name out there too.
but i think shes going to use you as a pawn.
lydiarox35 5:06 pm
Uh oh. I'm so scared.
lydiarox35 5:07 pm
Well thanks for being honest and open with me.
So is Memphis the plan or some crazy backdoor thing?
"Jerry" 5:09 pm
i believe memphis is the plan... with the poss. of backdooring action
lydiarox35 5:10 pm
Oh, okay. Well thanks again.
"Jerry" is offline 5:11 pm
IMs are delivered when the buddy signs in. Send "Jerry" a text message

[22522]

I'm a firm believer in taking fate into your own hands, and I did that tonight. I got the information from Jerry needed to hopefully seal his fate, I had known for quite sometime he has been talking shit about me and I knew he never had my best intentions in mind. There are even rumors floating around that Jerry thinks I was the one who used the grenade on him, which we all know is false.

If nominations stay the same, Bacon should be safe because Steven, Memphis and I have his back. So I'm super happy about that... and Michele is telling Bacon that if Jerry gets off the block she is putting Dan or Jeff up no matter what. I love hearing that, though making it happen is a totally different story because she is a tricky one.

Michele and I had a little heart to heart, and she was telling me she wants to be my ally even though it's not official and stuff. I still don't trust her, she is very similar to the real Michele... you never know what she's going to do. It's scary!! But I feel a lot more confident in being safe for the week, so that's a big relief.

Sorry Jerry for throwing you under the bus, but you never told me not to tell Michele and something needed to be done in order to get my agenda across.

[22522]

Ew, I hate not being able to compete in the Veto. I really really wanted to win the P.O.V and ensure my safety this week but it looks like that's not a possibility.

Even if the Veto is used and I'm the replacement, I'm still confident I could stay because I think I'll have Steven, Memphis, and Dan to save me no matter who I'm up against. So I'm still optimistic about this week, and I'm still crossing my fingers that Jerry will be evicted this week.

[22522]

Memphis won P.O.V., yay!! I predict that he wont use it and then Bacon will stay 5-0.

This was a great great great outcome, because a Brains get the money for winning the Veto, the nominee's will stay the same and then Bacon is going to stay! Yay!!

Jerry is going to be evicted this week, which is perfection. Jerry like hates me or something along those lines, so I'm super happy that he is going to be evicted. I'm going to applaud when he walks his old grumpy ass out the door. Memphis is amazing.

[22522]

Ohh my gosh! So I'm off the block, which is amazing. But... I love Bacon and he is in danger.



So now Lydia is all seriousness, and no games. I sent a PM to Memphis basically begging him to keep Bacon in the game, and I spoke to Steven about keeping Bacon. I still have yet to get a response from Memphis; but Steven has told me that he is voting to evict Jerry. So that's 2 at least.

I also have been working on Jeff which has been fun because I know he is close with Jerry. Lol. Lol. Lol. But Jeff said he will do what the majority is; so I'm praying that Bacon will stay here 5-0. I also sent Dan a text message begging him to keep Bacon, and after all he did make a truce with Bacon so I'm hoping everything works out for the best. ;D